Ward's Quotes and Sayings Archive
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Week 1
Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire
Kangaroos: Nature's first effort to produce a cheerleader.
Week 2
I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose
opinions I have no respect. - Gibbon
Some are wise and some are otherwise.
Week 3
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around
for a coffin. - Mencken
Remember that not all the faculty have all their faculties.
Week 4
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold. -
Ruskin
Little things affect little minds.
Week 5
I would rather be sick than idle. - Seneca
The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is
round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon. - Magellan
Week 6
If you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are upside down.
Week 7
Those who don't know, don't know that they don't know.
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings.
Only one thing endures, and that is character. - Greeley
Week 8
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to
get rid of. - W.C. Fields
Snobbery is the pride of those who are not sure of their
position. - Braley
Week 9
Dissent is the highest form of patriotism. -
Thomas Jefferson
Little Willie was a chemist; little Willie is no more.
What he thought was H2O, was H2SO4.
Week 10
Committee: A group of the unfit, appointed by the
unwilling, to do the unnecessary. - Cooke
Never eat prunes when you're hungry.
Week 11
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him. - Boileau
There are two kinds of men who never amount to much:
Those who cannot do what they are told,
and those who can do nothing else. - Curtis
Week 12
He who is wrapped up in himself makes a very small
package.
Laws are not made for the good. - Socrates
Week 13
Why do psychics have to ask for your name? - Steven
Wright
Conference: A place where you talk about doing something
instead of doing it.
Week 14
If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die,
I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers
(Epitaph) Here lies my wife: here let her lie.
Now she's at rest, and so am I. - Dryden
Week 15
Search all your parks in all your cities. You'll find no
statues to committees.
Charley got smashed in a friendly old bar; then left and
got smashed in his shiny new car.
Week 16
Older men declare war, but it is the youth
that must fight and die. - Herbert Hoover
Never trust a chemistry teacher
whose eyebrows are burned off.
Week 17
Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things,
and are always found in entirely different people. - Herold
Amusement: The happiness of those who cannot think.
Alexander Pope
Week 18
Some people my age are dead at the present time.
Casey Stengal
Stamp out and abolish redundancy.
Week 19
The care of the public health is the
first duty of the statesman. - Disraeli
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Steven Wright
Week 20
The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. - Alexander Pope
Week 21
Remember: Every silver lining has a cloud.
The nearest way to glory is to strive to be
what you wish to be thought to be. - Socrates
Week 22
Egotist: A person who thinks he knows as much as you do.
Bierce
It's no disgrace to be poor, but it may as well be.
Hubbard
Week 23
Spanking makes the child smart.
What you do not want others to do to you,
do not do to others. - Confucius, 500 B.C.
Week 24
Lack of money is the root of all evil. - Shaw
Bumper Sticker: I'm strange, deranged and unlikely to
change.
Week 25
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool;
and he who dares not, is a slave. - Drummond
A sinner can reform, but stupid is forever.
Week 26
Brutality to an animal is cruelty to mankind -
it is only the difference in the victim.
Lamartine
I have never let my schooling
interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Week 27
A critic is a legless man who teaches running. - Pollock
You can't look at a frog and tell how far he'll jump.
Week 28
Eagles may soar, but weasels
don't get sucked into jet engines.
Wright
Education: A form of training which pays,
unless you decide to become an educator.
Week 29
A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it
doesn't cost anything. - Hubbard
Nature's great book is written in mathematical language.
- Galileo
Week 30
The future ain't what it used to be.
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of
us could not succeed. - Mark Twain
Week 31
Ignorance: The only thing more expensive
than education.
Getting a point across to some people is like trying to blow
out a light bulb.
Week 32
For the world was built in order
and the atoms march in tune.
Emerson
Men do not stumble over mountains,
but over molehills.
Confucious
Week 33
When you get to the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on. - T. Roosevelt
Truth is said to be stranger than fiction;
it is to most folks. - Billings
Week 34
There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Matthew . VIII . 12
No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Bonzai
Week 35
Old chemists never die; they just fail to react.
Communist : A person who has nothing,
and is eager to share it with others.
Week 36
It is better to understand a little
than to misunderstand a lot. - Anatole France
Never spit in a well.
You might have to drink from it.
Week 37
I have never found the companion that was so
companionable as solitude. - Thoreau
Better late than never. - Dionysius
Week 38
The hardness of the butter is directly proportionate to
the softness of the bread.
Wright
Cats are like Baptists; they raise hell
but you can't catch them at it.
Week 39
Our dignity is not in what we do, but what we understand.
The whole world is doing things.
Santayana
Bore: A person who is here today
and here tomorrow.
Week 40
Half the people you know are below average.
Wright
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Emerson
Week 41
Gross Ignorance: Twelve dozen sophomores.
I would rather have men ask why I have no statue
than why I have one. - Cato
Week 42
Could Hamlet have been written by a committee?
Creative ideas spring from individuals.
Griswold
Bumper Sticker: Support mental health or I'll kill you.
Week 43
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. - Shakespeare
The greatest achievement is not in never falling ,
but in rising again after you fall. - Vince Lombardi
Week 44
I am always doing that which I can not do,
in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso
I don't jog. If I die, I want to be sick.
Abe Lemons
Week 45
Lying: Terminological inexactitude.
Winston Churchill
The man who never alters his opinion is like standing
water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.
Blake
Week 46
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
Emerson
Lisp : to call a spade a thpade.
Week 47
Nothing is enough for the man
for whom enough is too little.
Epicurus
Conference: A place where after all is said and done, much
more is said than done.
Week 48
Men and women join nudist colonies
in order to air their differences.
Liars get caught by the tale.
Week 49
Farewell! A long farewell to all my greatness!
Henry VIII
Advertising: The science of arresting the human
intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Leacock
Week 50
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before
we met. - Wright
A critic is one who knows the way, but can't drive the
car. - Tynan
Week 51
I wish he would explain his explanation. - Byron
Psychotic: One who believes that two and two make five,
whereas a neurotic knows that two and two are four, but
it makes him nervous.
Week 52
The past isn't dead. It isn't even past.
William Faulkner
The bed has become a place of luxury to me, I would not
exchange it for all the thrones in the world.
Napoleon
Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire
Kangaroos: Nature's first effort to produce a cheerleader.
Week 2
I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose
opinions I have no respect. - Gibbon
Some are wise and some are otherwise.
Week 3
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around
for a coffin. - Mencken
Remember that not all the faculty have all their faculties.
Week 4
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold. -
Ruskin
Little things affect little minds.
Week 5
I would rather be sick than idle. - Seneca
The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is
round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon. - Magellan
Week 6
If you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are upside down.
Week 7
Those who don't know, don't know that they don't know.
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings.
Only one thing endures, and that is character. - Greeley
Week 8
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to
get rid of. - W.C. Fields
Snobbery is the pride of those who are not sure of their
position. - Braley
Week 9
Dissent is the highest form of patriotism. -
Thomas Jefferson
Little Willie was a chemist; little Willie is no more.
What he thought was H2O, was H2SO4.
Week 10
Committee: A group of the unfit, appointed by the
unwilling, to do the unnecessary. - Cooke
Never eat prunes when you're hungry.
Week 11
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him. - Boileau
There are two kinds of men who never amount to much:
Those who cannot do what they are told,
and those who can do nothing else. - Curtis
Week 12
He who is wrapped up in himself makes a very small
package.
Laws are not made for the good. - Socrates
Week 13
Why do psychics have to ask for your name? - Steven
Wright
Conference: A place where you talk about doing something
instead of doing it.
Week 14
If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die,
I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers
(Epitaph) Here lies my wife: here let her lie.
Now she's at rest, and so am I. - Dryden
Week 15
Search all your parks in all your cities. You'll find no
statues to committees.
Charley got smashed in a friendly old bar; then left and
got smashed in his shiny new car.
Week 16
Older men declare war, but it is the youth
that must fight and die. - Herbert Hoover
Never trust a chemistry teacher
whose eyebrows are burned off.
Week 17
Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things,
and are always found in entirely different people. - Herold
Amusement: The happiness of those who cannot think.
Alexander Pope
Week 18
Some people my age are dead at the present time.
Casey Stengal
Stamp out and abolish redundancy.
Week 19
The care of the public health is the
first duty of the statesman. - Disraeli
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Steven Wright
Week 20
The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. - Alexander Pope
Week 21
Remember: Every silver lining has a cloud.
The nearest way to glory is to strive to be
what you wish to be thought to be. - Socrates
Week 22
Egotist: A person who thinks he knows as much as you do.
Bierce
It's no disgrace to be poor, but it may as well be.
Hubbard
Week 23
Spanking makes the child smart.
What you do not want others to do to you,
do not do to others. - Confucius, 500 B.C.
Week 24
Lack of money is the root of all evil. - Shaw
Bumper Sticker: I'm strange, deranged and unlikely to
change.
Week 25
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool;
and he who dares not, is a slave. - Drummond
A sinner can reform, but stupid is forever.
Week 26
Brutality to an animal is cruelty to mankind -
it is only the difference in the victim.
Lamartine
I have never let my schooling
interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Week 27
A critic is a legless man who teaches running. - Pollock
You can't look at a frog and tell how far he'll jump.
Week 28
Eagles may soar, but weasels
don't get sucked into jet engines.
Wright
Education: A form of training which pays,
unless you decide to become an educator.
Week 29
A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it
doesn't cost anything. - Hubbard
Nature's great book is written in mathematical language.
- Galileo
Week 30
The future ain't what it used to be.
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of
us could not succeed. - Mark Twain
Week 31
Ignorance: The only thing more expensive
than education.
Getting a point across to some people is like trying to blow
out a light bulb.
Week 32
For the world was built in order
and the atoms march in tune.
Emerson
Men do not stumble over mountains,
but over molehills.
Confucious
Week 33
When you get to the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on. - T. Roosevelt
Truth is said to be stranger than fiction;
it is to most folks. - Billings
Week 34
There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Matthew . VIII . 12
No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Bonzai
Week 35
Old chemists never die; they just fail to react.
Communist : A person who has nothing,
and is eager to share it with others.
Week 36
It is better to understand a little
than to misunderstand a lot. - Anatole France
Never spit in a well.
You might have to drink from it.
Week 37
I have never found the companion that was so
companionable as solitude. - Thoreau
Better late than never. - Dionysius
Week 38
The hardness of the butter is directly proportionate to
the softness of the bread.
Wright
Cats are like Baptists; they raise hell
but you can't catch them at it.
Week 39
Our dignity is not in what we do, but what we understand.
The whole world is doing things.
Santayana
Bore: A person who is here today
and here tomorrow.
Week 40
Half the people you know are below average.
Wright
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Emerson
Week 41
Gross Ignorance: Twelve dozen sophomores.
I would rather have men ask why I have no statue
than why I have one. - Cato
Week 42
Could Hamlet have been written by a committee?
Creative ideas spring from individuals.
Griswold
Bumper Sticker: Support mental health or I'll kill you.
Week 43
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. - Shakespeare
The greatest achievement is not in never falling ,
but in rising again after you fall. - Vince Lombardi
Week 44
I am always doing that which I can not do,
in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso
I don't jog. If I die, I want to be sick.
Abe Lemons
Week 45
Lying: Terminological inexactitude.
Winston Churchill
The man who never alters his opinion is like standing
water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.
Blake
Week 46
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
Emerson
Lisp : to call a spade a thpade.
Week 47
Nothing is enough for the man
for whom enough is too little.
Epicurus
Conference: A place where after all is said and done, much
more is said than done.
Week 48
Men and women join nudist colonies
in order to air their differences.
Liars get caught by the tale.
Week 49
Farewell! A long farewell to all my greatness!
Henry VIII
Advertising: The science of arresting the human
intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Leacock
Week 50
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before
we met. - Wright
A critic is one who knows the way, but can't drive the
car. - Tynan
Week 51
I wish he would explain his explanation. - Byron
Psychotic: One who believes that two and two make five,
whereas a neurotic knows that two and two are four, but
it makes him nervous.
Week 52
The past isn't dead. It isn't even past.
William Faulkner
The bed has become a place of luxury to me, I would not
exchange it for all the thrones in the world.
Napoleon
Week 53
Marriage is like Baskin-Robbins: When you have 37
varieties, why settle for Rocky Road?
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
Japanese Proverb
Week 54
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to
be lazy. - Wright
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek
can keep the earth after they inherit it.
Hubbard
Week 55
Love is a matter of chemistry;
sex is a matter of physics.
Happiness is a state of mind. - A. Lincoln
Week 56
My mechanic couldn't repair my brakes,
so he made my horn louder. - Wright
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
Eliot
Week 57
Men willingly believe what they wish. - Julius Caesar
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a
foolish thing. - Anatole France
Week 58
Prejudice: A vagrant opinion without any visible means of
support. - Bierce
Tact: The ability to describe others as they see
themselves. - A. Lincoln
Week 59
Doing easily what others find difficult is talent;
doing what is impossible for talent is genius.
Amiel
Be good and you will be lonesome. - Mark Twain
Week 60
The whole of government consists in the
art of being honest. - Thomas Jefferson
Never step in anything soft.
Week 61
The glory of young men is their strength and the beauty
of old men is the gray head.
Proverbs 20:29
The sooner you fall behind,
the more time you'll have to catch up
Wright
Week 62
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Hubbard
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
Lippman
Week 63
Life is like a sewer - you get
out of it what you put into it.
After three days, men grow weary of a wench, a guest,
and rainy weather. - Ben Franklin
Week 64
"Close" don't count except in horseshoes, hand-grenades
and ballroom dancing.
On the expressway, beware of rolling stoned.
Week 65
If you don't like the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Truman
Kindergarten Teacher: One who knows how
to make the little things count.
Week 66
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism,
to steal from many is research. - Wright
The only way to amuse some people is to
slip and fall on an icy pavement. - Howe
Week 67
Bore: A person who puts his feat in his mouth.
His mind is open; yes, it is so open that nothing is
retained; ideas simply pass through him. - Bradley
Week 68
In political discussion, heat is in inverse
proportion to knowledge. - Minchin
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same. - Mencken
Week 69
If a problem causes many meetings, the meetings
eventually become more important than the problem.
Variety is the spicy life.
Week 70
I've given up reading books; I find it takes
my mind off myself. - Levant
Absurdity: A statement or belief inconsistent with one's
own opinion. - Bierce
Week 71
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant
popularity of dogs. - Huxley
Russia: A country where you can talk your head off.
Week 72
Be not simply good; be good for something.
Thoreau
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom
is a knowledge of our own ignorance.
Spurgeon
Week 73
To be ignorant of one's ignorance
is the malady of the ignorant. - Alcott
To know that we know what we know, and that we do not
know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.
Thoreau
Week 74
Anyone who is happy all the time must be mad.
Rosten
Cross-eyed teachers can't control their pupils.
Week 75
I have nothing, I owe much, the rest
I leave to charity. - Rabelais
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese. - Wright
Week 76
He is so narrow-minded that if he fell on a pin, it would
blind him in both eyes. - Fred Allen
I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde
Week 77
If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take
it from him. - Ben Franklin
If I have seen further than others, it is only because I
have stood on the shoulders of giants.
Isaac Newton
Week 78
Immorality: The morality of those who are
having a better time. - H.L. Mencken
Those who sow the wind shall reap the whirlwind.
Hosea.VIII.7
Week 79
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Give a pig and a boy everything they want,
and you'll get a good pig and a bad boy. - Unknown
Week 80
Etiquette: The noise you must not
swallow your soup with.
The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
Disraeli
Week 81
Few people can be happy unless they hate some other
person, nation, or creed. - Russell
Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
Bierce
Week 82
Every reform movement has a lunatic fringe.
T. Roosevelt
Anyone who hates dogs and children can't be all bad.
W.C. Fields
Week 83
In general, those who have nothing to say contrive to
spend the longest time in doing it. - Lowell
Hospital: A place where people who are run down, wind up.
Week 84
Despair is the conclusion of fools. - Disraeli
Is there another word for synonym?
Week 85
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
George Carlin
Whatever is morally necessary must be
made politically possible. - E. McCarthy
Week 86
If it weren't for the optimist, the pessimist
wouldn't know how well off he wasn't.
He who is not prepared today, will be less so tomorrow.
Ovid
Week 87
Education: Knowledge beyond immediate use,
which may someday lead to wisdom.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. - Dante
Week 88
To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady.
Mizner
Those who complain most are most
likely to be complained of. - Henry
Week 89
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
Napoleon
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
Aldous Huxley
Week 90
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge -
others just gargle.
Getting married is like burning down the house
to make some toast. - Benny Hill
Week 91
Positive: Being mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Bierce
While he was not dumber than an ox,
he was not any smarter. - Thurber
Week 92
A fool may ask more questions in an hour than a wise man
can answer in seven years. - English Proverb
Goodness that preaches undoes itself. - Emerson
Week 93
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove
that money doesn't buy happiness.
The empty vessel makes the greatest sound.
Shakespeare
Week 94
A clear conscience is a continual Christmas.
Benjamin Franklin
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Week 95
Death joins us to the great majority. - Young
To err is human, to forgive divine. - Alexander Pope
Week 96
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
Russel Banks
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
Ben Franklin
Week 97
To follow foolish precedents, and wink with both our eyes,
is easier than to think. - Cowper
I do not believe in the collective
wisdom of individual ignorance.
Carlyle
Week 98
A fool has a tongue long enough to cut his own throat.
Spine : What your head sits on, and what you sit on.
Week 99
Learning makes a man fit company for himself. - Young
I wonder where mothers learn all of the things
they tell their daughters not to do. - Cantor
Week 100
Procrastination is the thief of time. - Young
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. - Mizner
Week 101
Hole: Nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.
O'Malley
Into each life some rain must fall, some days
must be dark and dreary. - Longfellow
Week 102
There's nothing I'm afraid of like scared people.
Robert Frost
Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Week 103
It's not the coughin' that carries you off,
it's the coffin they carry you off in.
Once you can accept the universe as being something
expanding into an infinite nothing, which is something,
wearing stripes with plaid is easy. - Einstein
Week 104
Don't judge a man's wealth - or his piety - by his
appearance on Sunday. - Ben Franklin
Intuition: A suspension of logic born of impatience.
Week 105
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
Emerson
The happiest days of my life were spent
with another man's wife - my mother.
Week 106
It is not necessary to fall into a well to know its depth.
Cleverness is not wisdom. - Euripides
Week 107
A person without problems is dead. - George Allen
Sometimes it is a good choice not to choose at all.
Montaigne
Week 108
You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
Booker T. Washington
His mouth works faster than his brain - he says things he
hasn't thought of yet.
Week 109
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly
goes all the way to the bone.
His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
Marriage is like Baskin-Robbins: When you have 37
varieties, why settle for Rocky Road?
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
Japanese Proverb
Week 54
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to
be lazy. - Wright
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek
can keep the earth after they inherit it.
Hubbard
Week 55
Love is a matter of chemistry;
sex is a matter of physics.
Happiness is a state of mind. - A. Lincoln
Week 56
My mechanic couldn't repair my brakes,
so he made my horn louder. - Wright
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
Eliot
Week 57
Men willingly believe what they wish. - Julius Caesar
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a
foolish thing. - Anatole France
Week 58
Prejudice: A vagrant opinion without any visible means of
support. - Bierce
Tact: The ability to describe others as they see
themselves. - A. Lincoln
Week 59
Doing easily what others find difficult is talent;
doing what is impossible for talent is genius.
Amiel
Be good and you will be lonesome. - Mark Twain
Week 60
The whole of government consists in the
art of being honest. - Thomas Jefferson
Never step in anything soft.
Week 61
The glory of young men is their strength and the beauty
of old men is the gray head.
Proverbs 20:29
The sooner you fall behind,
the more time you'll have to catch up
Wright
Week 62
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Hubbard
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
Lippman
Week 63
Life is like a sewer - you get
out of it what you put into it.
After three days, men grow weary of a wench, a guest,
and rainy weather. - Ben Franklin
Week 64
"Close" don't count except in horseshoes, hand-grenades
and ballroom dancing.
On the expressway, beware of rolling stoned.
Week 65
If you don't like the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Truman
Kindergarten Teacher: One who knows how
to make the little things count.
Week 66
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism,
to steal from many is research. - Wright
The only way to amuse some people is to
slip and fall on an icy pavement. - Howe
Week 67
Bore: A person who puts his feat in his mouth.
His mind is open; yes, it is so open that nothing is
retained; ideas simply pass through him. - Bradley
Week 68
In political discussion, heat is in inverse
proportion to knowledge. - Minchin
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same. - Mencken
Week 69
If a problem causes many meetings, the meetings
eventually become more important than the problem.
Variety is the spicy life.
Week 70
I've given up reading books; I find it takes
my mind off myself. - Levant
Absurdity: A statement or belief inconsistent with one's
own opinion. - Bierce
Week 71
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant
popularity of dogs. - Huxley
Russia: A country where you can talk your head off.
Week 72
Be not simply good; be good for something.
Thoreau
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom
is a knowledge of our own ignorance.
Spurgeon
Week 73
To be ignorant of one's ignorance
is the malady of the ignorant. - Alcott
To know that we know what we know, and that we do not
know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.
Thoreau
Week 74
Anyone who is happy all the time must be mad.
Rosten
Cross-eyed teachers can't control their pupils.
Week 75
I have nothing, I owe much, the rest
I leave to charity. - Rabelais
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese. - Wright
Week 76
He is so narrow-minded that if he fell on a pin, it would
blind him in both eyes. - Fred Allen
I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde
Week 77
If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take
it from him. - Ben Franklin
If I have seen further than others, it is only because I
have stood on the shoulders of giants.
Isaac Newton
Week 78
Immorality: The morality of those who are
having a better time. - H.L. Mencken
Those who sow the wind shall reap the whirlwind.
Hosea.VIII.7
Week 79
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Give a pig and a boy everything they want,
and you'll get a good pig and a bad boy. - Unknown
Week 80
Etiquette: The noise you must not
swallow your soup with.
The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
Disraeli
Week 81
Few people can be happy unless they hate some other
person, nation, or creed. - Russell
Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
Bierce
Week 82
Every reform movement has a lunatic fringe.
T. Roosevelt
Anyone who hates dogs and children can't be all bad.
W.C. Fields
Week 83
In general, those who have nothing to say contrive to
spend the longest time in doing it. - Lowell
Hospital: A place where people who are run down, wind up.
Week 84
Despair is the conclusion of fools. - Disraeli
Is there another word for synonym?
Week 85
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
George Carlin
Whatever is morally necessary must be
made politically possible. - E. McCarthy
Week 86
If it weren't for the optimist, the pessimist
wouldn't know how well off he wasn't.
He who is not prepared today, will be less so tomorrow.
Ovid
Week 87
Education: Knowledge beyond immediate use,
which may someday lead to wisdom.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. - Dante
Week 88
To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady.
Mizner
Those who complain most are most
likely to be complained of. - Henry
Week 89
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
Napoleon
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
Aldous Huxley
Week 90
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge -
others just gargle.
Getting married is like burning down the house
to make some toast. - Benny Hill
Week 91
Positive: Being mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Bierce
While he was not dumber than an ox,
he was not any smarter. - Thurber
Week 92
A fool may ask more questions in an hour than a wise man
can answer in seven years. - English Proverb
Goodness that preaches undoes itself. - Emerson
Week 93
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove
that money doesn't buy happiness.
The empty vessel makes the greatest sound.
Shakespeare
Week 94
A clear conscience is a continual Christmas.
Benjamin Franklin
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Week 95
Death joins us to the great majority. - Young
To err is human, to forgive divine. - Alexander Pope
Week 96
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
Russel Banks
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
Ben Franklin
Week 97
To follow foolish precedents, and wink with both our eyes,
is easier than to think. - Cowper
I do not believe in the collective
wisdom of individual ignorance.
Carlyle
Week 98
A fool has a tongue long enough to cut his own throat.
Spine : What your head sits on, and what you sit on.
Week 99
Learning makes a man fit company for himself. - Young
I wonder where mothers learn all of the things
they tell their daughters not to do. - Cantor
Week 100
Procrastination is the thief of time. - Young
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. - Mizner
Week 101
Hole: Nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.
O'Malley
Into each life some rain must fall, some days
must be dark and dreary. - Longfellow
Week 102
There's nothing I'm afraid of like scared people.
Robert Frost
Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Week 103
It's not the coughin' that carries you off,
it's the coffin they carry you off in.
Once you can accept the universe as being something
expanding into an infinite nothing, which is something,
wearing stripes with plaid is easy. - Einstein
Week 104
Don't judge a man's wealth - or his piety - by his
appearance on Sunday. - Ben Franklin
Intuition: A suspension of logic born of impatience.
Week 105
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
Emerson
The happiest days of my life were spent
with another man's wife - my mother.
Week 106
It is not necessary to fall into a well to know its depth.
Cleverness is not wisdom. - Euripides
Week 107
A person without problems is dead. - George Allen
Sometimes it is a good choice not to choose at all.
Montaigne
Week 108
You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
Booker T. Washington
His mouth works faster than his brain - he says things he
hasn't thought of yet.
Week 109
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly
goes all the way to the bone.
His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.