I remember Ward being absent and it may have been connected to this event.
I thought that it was on ELOM's birthday one Fall. Probably, the Fall of 1983.
Anyway, I decided to surprise Ward with a special greeting. I prepared two
gifts as I remember. The first you see in the picture. Yes, a hubcap! It was a
hubcap that I had found somewhere and kept for some reason. The old thing
had hung in my room for several months and I decided that Ward needed it.
The second gift was actually for ELOM. Being the great god that he is, I
decided that he needed a sacrifice. As I thought about what to offer him, a
simple thought came to my mind. He needs a meal from the cafeteria sacrificed
to him! Fearing that said meal would probably not age as well as the Golden
Boloney and not wanting Ward to throw the fool thing out, I decided to
appropriate a cup, plate, silverware, and some paper napkins from the
cafeteria (Sorry Dr. Garland!). I then crushed all of the booty from the cafeteria
and placed it in a lovely urn (the urn had previously existed as a red thermos).
Now with my gifts in hand, I set out to surprise the Weirdo himself. I do not
remember what time that I arrived at school but two things still linger in my
mind: (1) it was dark and (2) it was cold!!! Now I remember both well but the
coldness is on my mind even today. I had decided to dress for the occasion in
gym shorts and no shoes. I thought that this apparel would surprise him as
much as my presence. I hid in the bushes outside of the Northwest entrance
to the school so that when Ward came in from the teachers parking lot, I could
get the jump on him. As I sat in the bushes freezing, I began to hope that Ward
was the first one there because I could not think what I could possibly say to
anyone else that would resemble any form of sanity. (God forbid Mr. Hill arrive
and discover me in the bushes. He already thought that I was a complete nut
job. In fact his exact words were "You guys are a bunch of honyocks!" BTW,
the other guy was Steve James aka "Morpheus." Salute!)
Somewhere in my frozen delirium, I heard a car come into the parking lot.
Please be Ward! Please be Ward! Yes, I would recognize that figure, that gait
anywhere. Wait. Wait. Now! I jumped from the bushes hollering "HAIL ELOM!"
Weirdo responded with something like, "Egads Oral! You just about gave me a
heart attack! Now what are you doing out here?"
As my explanation unfolded and my gifts were presented, the old man just
stood there in a stupor, shaking his head. I can only imagine what was going
through his mind at the time.
He took me up to his classroom to let me warm up and to take my picture.
We placed the Sacrificial Urn beside ELOM. I could swear that he smiled
underneath that furry head of his! My heart warmed but my legs were still
tingly cold.
And now you know what really happened one cold October morning.
Hail Elom!
peace,
Oral Robert
Chemistry '82-'83
Class Name: "The Spastics"
Subset: "The Weird Ones in the Corner" i.e. Oral Robert, Half-Whit,
Feeler Feller, and VanderKook aka Captain Quaalude.
I thought that it was on ELOM's birthday one Fall. Probably, the Fall of 1983.
Anyway, I decided to surprise Ward with a special greeting. I prepared two
gifts as I remember. The first you see in the picture. Yes, a hubcap! It was a
hubcap that I had found somewhere and kept for some reason. The old thing
had hung in my room for several months and I decided that Ward needed it.
The second gift was actually for ELOM. Being the great god that he is, I
decided that he needed a sacrifice. As I thought about what to offer him, a
simple thought came to my mind. He needs a meal from the cafeteria sacrificed
to him! Fearing that said meal would probably not age as well as the Golden
Boloney and not wanting Ward to throw the fool thing out, I decided to
appropriate a cup, plate, silverware, and some paper napkins from the
cafeteria (Sorry Dr. Garland!). I then crushed all of the booty from the cafeteria
and placed it in a lovely urn (the urn had previously existed as a red thermos).
Now with my gifts in hand, I set out to surprise the Weirdo himself. I do not
remember what time that I arrived at school but two things still linger in my
mind: (1) it was dark and (2) it was cold!!! Now I remember both well but the
coldness is on my mind even today. I had decided to dress for the occasion in
gym shorts and no shoes. I thought that this apparel would surprise him as
much as my presence. I hid in the bushes outside of the Northwest entrance
to the school so that when Ward came in from the teachers parking lot, I could
get the jump on him. As I sat in the bushes freezing, I began to hope that Ward
was the first one there because I could not think what I could possibly say to
anyone else that would resemble any form of sanity. (God forbid Mr. Hill arrive
and discover me in the bushes. He already thought that I was a complete nut
job. In fact his exact words were "You guys are a bunch of honyocks!" BTW,
the other guy was Steve James aka "Morpheus." Salute!)
Somewhere in my frozen delirium, I heard a car come into the parking lot.
Please be Ward! Please be Ward! Yes, I would recognize that figure, that gait
anywhere. Wait. Wait. Now! I jumped from the bushes hollering "HAIL ELOM!"
Weirdo responded with something like, "Egads Oral! You just about gave me a
heart attack! Now what are you doing out here?"
As my explanation unfolded and my gifts were presented, the old man just
stood there in a stupor, shaking his head. I can only imagine what was going
through his mind at the time.
He took me up to his classroom to let me warm up and to take my picture.
We placed the Sacrificial Urn beside ELOM. I could swear that he smiled
underneath that furry head of his! My heart warmed but my legs were still
tingly cold.
And now you know what really happened one cold October morning.
Hail Elom!
peace,
Oral Robert
Chemistry '82-'83
Class Name: "The Spastics"
Subset: "The Weird Ones in the Corner" i.e. Oral Robert, Half-Whit,
Feeler Feller, and VanderKook aka Captain Quaalude.
| Robert Foster - Class of '84 "Oral Robert" |
| Scrolll down to read the hilarious story behind this odd picture! |
Ward believes this get-up had to do with the fact that he missed a day of
work (rare for Ward) and Oral was his one-man welcome back committee!
While Ward's version may be true, Oral Robert's recollection of it having
to do with ELOM's birthday (October 23rd) is also possible, given the
time of year it occurred.
It's likely a combination of the two.
Below is the story as told by Oral...........
work (rare for Ward) and Oral was his one-man welcome back committee!
While Ward's version may be true, Oral Robert's recollection of it having
to do with ELOM's birthday (October 23rd) is also possible, given the
time of year it occurred.
It's likely a combination of the two.
Below is the story as told by Oral...........
Here's a photo that Oral sent in of
himself wearing a t-shirt that his little
brother gave him for Christmas (2006).
himself wearing a t-shirt that his little
brother gave him for Christmas (2006).